Moments Of Sanity

Hey all! I am combining both of my blogs into one place. I am sick of keeping up with both. I also like the control of hosting wordpress on my own site.

My new spot can be found here. I haven’t decided if I care to move all my old stuff over or not. I doubt it though.

This is an actual conversation that I had with my mom about 2 years ago. My stared at me and accused me of lying when he heard it. It is a perfect example of life with her and why I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner at age 9. To set the scene a little bit: My parents had been to Texas to visit. Tony and I grilled kabobs for them and made a basil potato salad and some garlic bread. My mom wanted to make the same thing when they got back home, and this is the phone call about it.

Mom: Hey, I wanted to make those kabob things y’all made when we were out there. I forgot to get those stick things though. Is that ok?

Me: uumm  Well, I guess you can just grill the meat then cut it up. Maybe slice the veggies and grill them that way on some foil.

Mom: OK, well, I don’t have any italian dressing.

Me: Well, you could use bbq sauce or anything you like the flavor of on your chicken. Or, I guess you could do it plain.

Mom: Your dad doesn’t want to grill, so what do I do?

Me: *sighing* Then just cook the meat in the oven like you normally do, and then saute the veggies.

Mom: How do you saute?

Me: I can’t believe you just asked me that. Get out your cook book. It will tell you. I am 500 miles away, I can’t exactly do this for you Mom.

Mom: Ok, so about the potato salad thing….. Your dad doesn’t like basil, and we really don’t like much garlic. I also don’t have any vinegar. Any suggestions?

Me: Boil them, add salt and pepper.

Mom: But then they won’t be as good as your’s.

Me: In order for it to taste like mine, you have to use at least of few of the same ingredients. 

Mom: You are determined to be difficult aren’t you?

Me: I have to go now. I am ready to climb through the phone and kill you. Are your wills updated?

Mom: Well, there’s no need to be rude!

Me: You have no idea woman. 

I am not sure what I think of the anti-anxiety med. I am just starting my new anti-depressant, and am definately on edge. I have been taking the anxiety med before bed now that I am home. I was taking it a little more often while away. It has definately increased my sex drive. Now if I could make the rest of the world slow down so I can catch up and have time to indulge myslf all would be great. The anxiety med leaves me feeling a little sluggish though. It may just take some getting used to. 5 mg seems to be staying in my system for a good 12-24 hours. I am not taking it every night, but several times a week.

Potty training has been going amazingly well. I don’t know why it’s going so well. I don’t really care why. It is, and I am content with that. The hardest part for me has been me remembering to make sure they have gone before leaving the house and every hour during the day. They are still rarely initiating the going, but I couldn’t care less at this point. I am no longer having to change diapers!!!!  

I sound sick. I don’t think I am though. I have sinus stuff going on, but I feel fine. Just stuffy. I haven’t had any significant fibro pain in weeks now. I thought I was going to have some coming into a freezing house after a 9 hour drive. While I was somewhat achy, it wasn’t too bad. I would pay good money at the moment for a massage though.

I am currently trying to figure out what to get Tony for his bday.  He really liked his Christmas present, but I am not quite brave enough to get anything else pierced yet. 

I am seriously ready to get the Christmas crap put up.  

I made a phone call to a friend this afternoon. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to really chat and catch up. I was calling her in a semi-professional capacity. Apparently though I don’t call often enough. Actually, most of my friends complain about that with me. I just hate talking on the phone. My phone call was answered with the words, "Oh My God!" Tony could hear me laughing from the bathroom.

I promise Meesh, I will start calling more often. I miss talking with you too.

I am taking the time to post that I am so incredibly homesick for my high speed connection. My parents have dial up. It sucks. While sitting here killing a few hours, I can’t check blogs because the connection is so damned slow.

I am on a twin parenting board. I don’t actually post there often, I don’t really have the time. I do lurk a good deal, and occasional email in private.

I was checking in today when I learned that one of the moms who is currently pregnant again after twins found out that her baby died this week.

No parent should ever have to face that. I can’t begin to imagine facing Christmas with that hanging over you. No parent should have to be told that they have to figure out to cremate or bury, to autopsy or not, to say goodbye. No parent should have to plan a funeral. No parent should ever have to face that silent ultrasound. No parent should lose their child.

I can’t help but remember the pain. It immediately came rushing back. It’s never all that far away, but hearing things like this shove it all to the front. Every single second of dispair came crashing down on me in that moment. It took my breath away, and brought tears to my eyes.

I had planned to write much more, but I just can’t right now. I have to stop myself before I lose it. I can’t visit that place again right now.

I needed something to go right today. Everything has been pretty crappy. Tony’s labs weren’t good. Let’s just leave it at that. They actually broke confidentiality rules today in order to make sure I made Tony take his meds, monitor his blood pressure, and go back in for his echo when we get back. Me, I was fine. We were all a little surprised that I, the problem patient, was fairly healthy. I did get some meds, some for my migraines, some for anxiety, and a new anti-depressant. Tony got some for blood pressure and cholesterol. I have to taper off my old anti-depressant before starting my new one.

On top of it all, we had yet something else go wrong with our damned car. Hopefully, but I doubt it, the guy can get it fixed today and we can get out of here tonight. If not, it will be sometime tomorrow.

The one thing that did go well……….. My children have been awake 10 hours at this moment, and have not had one peeing accident. Since I said this, I am sure the flood gates will open any minute. However, I will enjoy the few positives this day has brought.

I am obviously an only child sometimes. Well, ok I do have a brother who is almost 10 years younger, but for most things, I think much as an only child.

It is completely beyond my abilities to undestand why my kids fight over two potty chairs, sitting side-by-side, EXACTLY alike.  WTF? Just sit and pee already. 

My kids are so good for my ego. AJ was looking through a picture album I made for them 3 years ago. It was put together with old pictures, pictures of different people and events. One of the pictures I put in there was me during a wedding dress fitting from 1996. My son looked at it, turned to me, and said, "It’s a beautiful princess Mommy!" Torie always says that when she looks at that picture. I know it’s just the dress, but it does good things to hear that.